Tuhan sentuh aku dengan cinta-Mu
Basuh rindu dendam hatiku
Berlari mencari diri-Mu
Terbata meraba di fatamorgana dunia
Tuhan ampun bila hamba terlena arungi sang hidup
Nenangis tercenung nafsu butakan sang mata
Berlutut memohon Engkau ampuni sang jiwa
Lewati sepi lewati duka
Di kehidupan yang sementara
Di dalam bising di dalam tawa
Hanya dengan-Mu aku tenang
Aku tenang
Berlari mencari terlempar tak pasti
Terbata meraba di fatamorgana dunia
Menangis tercenung nafsu butakan sang mata
Berlutut memohon Engkau ampuni sang jiwa
Lewati sepi lewati duka
Di kehidupan yang sementara
Di dalam bising di dalam tawa
Hanya dengan-Mu aku tenang
Aku tenang
Aku tenang
Aku tenang
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Firefly
A firefly i saw two nights ago, made me search for a cylinder glass container or any other material for that purpose, to capture the insect and to excite my little boy.
I cant find any and with my eyes fixed to the firefly as to not miss its whereabouts, and rummaging through the cabinet to search for the container, i lost the firefly.
Brokenhearted, i told my husband :
"Ema dulu, orang gaji akan tangkap and letak dalam glass container, pastu ema akan tengok kelip-kelip tu sampai la ema tertidur...."
So sweet.
He replied :
"Aku dulu nampak ja kelip-kelip; takda orang gaji tau; tangkap dengan tangan, buang kat lantai, lanyak-lanyak".
Habis semua sweetness.
I cant find any and with my eyes fixed to the firefly as to not miss its whereabouts, and rummaging through the cabinet to search for the container, i lost the firefly.
Brokenhearted, i told my husband :
"Ema dulu, orang gaji akan tangkap and letak dalam glass container, pastu ema akan tengok kelip-kelip tu sampai la ema tertidur...."
So sweet.
He replied :
"Aku dulu nampak ja kelip-kelip; takda orang gaji tau; tangkap dengan tangan, buang kat lantai, lanyak-lanyak".
Habis semua sweetness.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Addicted.
The black tar or the white china that needs to be cooked, they are all addicted.
Though the stories are mostly in Courtney's favour, I beg to differ. Those could be true. If they're not, they were all good lies.
Am asking for more, this time from a different author, who, he happened to interview Kurt purposely to publish this book.
Let us pray local stores has this / order this from overseas just for me :
Though the stories are mostly in Courtney's favour, I beg to differ. Those could be true. If they're not, they were all good lies.
Am asking for more, this time from a different author, who, he happened to interview Kurt purposely to publish this book.
Let us pray local stores has this / order this from overseas just for me :
.jpg) |
| Addicted? Come on, move on to next. |
Monday, February 18, 2013
Of Whatnots : Heavier Than Heaven.
And so I have started to read one of the books I purchased.
Kurt Cobain is further distanced from me personally, as the book, as I personally take it, was more against him, describing him as a sex obsessive person or someone who was a really intimidated by his own fame.
Halfway through the book, I tried to search for some reviews that might help me to fix Kurt's bad personality as I see it (or read it to be more accurate).
Most reviews said the book is a total Love's affair, her way of covering truths and thus reveal the lies, and mostly what the writer liked to think of what it should be, as a fictional writer wants it.
I am happy to have to download more of not-so-famous-here-in-my-world songs of Nirvana (or Fecal Matter; an earlier version of Nirvana) after I've read those reviews, which siding me in the first place before I read Heavier than Heaven.
Surprisingly, I found out "Even In His Youth" sound to be interesting, among other songs.
After all, its his music that matters, it doesn't matter no more if he like to paint with his semen.
His music and his vocals are what matters most of Nirvana, not his personal broken fucked up life.
Kurt Cobain is further distanced from me personally, as the book, as I personally take it, was more against him, describing him as a sex obsessive person or someone who was a really intimidated by his own fame.
Halfway through the book, I tried to search for some reviews that might help me to fix Kurt's bad personality as I see it (or read it to be more accurate).
Most reviews said the book is a total Love's affair, her way of covering truths and thus reveal the lies, and mostly what the writer liked to think of what it should be, as a fictional writer wants it.
I am happy to have to download more of not-so-famous-here-in-my-world songs of Nirvana (or Fecal Matter; an earlier version of Nirvana) after I've read those reviews, which siding me in the first place before I read Heavier than Heaven.
Surprisingly, I found out "Even In His Youth" sound to be interesting, among other songs.
After all, its his music that matters, it doesn't matter no more if he like to paint with his semen.
His music and his vocals are what matters most of Nirvana, not his personal broken fucked up life.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Cannot Stop. Cannot Think.
Yesterday's programme of MHI TV3 ripped me off parts of my heart, when a segment of Ahmad Adam Syukri was aired.
I cried watching it at the bus stop, on the bus to Perda, and again at the Perda bus stop waiting for Faidrol to fetch me.
I thought I will not cry after watching it several times, but tears never failed to drop, everytime.
Again watching it on my bed, cried.
Again watching it today (where I confidently said to myself I will not cry in the office big time, and I've watched it before so I should'nt cry) but I wept like a baby!.
"Adam tunggu Mama depan pintu syurga ok".
Hati kena siat.
I cried watching it at the bus stop, on the bus to Perda, and again at the Perda bus stop waiting for Faidrol to fetch me.
I thought I will not cry after watching it several times, but tears never failed to drop, everytime.
Again watching it on my bed, cried.
Again watching it today (where I confidently said to myself I will not cry in the office big time, and I've watched it before so I should'nt cry) but I wept like a baby!.
"Adam tunggu Mama depan pintu syurga ok".
Hati kena siat.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
CNY Getaway!
We didn't really plan our long holiday this time, particularly due to our work to paint the new house, and also both Faidrol and I have been staying together, so staying at home is also considered as holiday for us.
But Mak and Ayah decided they gave us surprise by making an impromptu journey up north to see their grandkids!
I was very happy to know their plan and excited at the same time as to show them off our newly-purchased house.
Twas having lunch at 2PM on Saturday, Faidrol and I planned to started our stop halfway through in the morning of painting the walls. The plan was to start at 3.30 - 4PM but, Mak Ayah was already on their way to Hard Rock Hotel.
Upon hearing this, I excitedly told them that I am willing to chip in for a one night stay in the hotel and for that, we were invited to stay in together. Yeay....
And so the plan all went down the drain (the paintings uh uh).
So we made our journey to Hard Rock Hotel, stopping by Line Clear for Ayah's order on Nasi Kandar. We started our journey around 3.30PM and reached Feringghi around 5PM.
Cars started to piling up the road towards Feringghi thus the 2-hour journey.
Once we reached Hotel, we didn't waste any time but to go for the swimming pool. Not for us, but for the kids yes! Aok bah... mak pak pun maok juak bah hahaah.
Faryyal insisted to stay at the pool side, playing only with the shallow water meant to be the "pool drain". But Fayyadh wasted no chance, jumped right into the pool with Faidrol! What a boy!
But everntually Faryyal wanted to join them and I have to carry her into the pool slowly and steady as not to terrify her.
We were in the pool until almost Isya'!
The swirling slides are superb unless you got stuck midway or almost reaching to the pool. Either way, it was fun to do with the kids (the kids are the reason we can surely enjoy the slides or, you have to just only watch from the poolside!). Faryyal and Fayyadh cannot stop to slide and I even think and told Faidrol to just let them be alone on the slides til I catch them in the pool but to think twice, it was a dangerous thing to do to a 2 year old and 1 year old.
There was a lion dance in front of the Hard Rock Cafe, Faryyal enjoyed it so much she did not move from her spot watching it. We went to the Rock Shop but nothing aspired me to buy anything (as I already have a lanyard, Roxy one) or the umbrella that I wanted to buy but sarcastically approved by dear husband that aborted me to purchase.
It was a night to remember as both kids enjoyed their time there, Faryyal never want to be steered away from Neneks and everytime we were apart, she was always looking/searching for her Neneks.
The next day we went to as usual, Padang Kota Lama to enjoy the delicacy : Pasemboq and headed straight to our new house.
Haha, sad to say nothing is in the house but my parents insisted to stay there that night. I gladly setup their "shack" with hot coffee, iced tea, some pistachios, cucur by Mak Lang, beds and pillows, with a fan and a mosquito coil. Being ayah as always, he will mop the floors and sweep them, giving me advices on what's yes to go or what's disastrous to do.
Since the next day I already started working, they made their way back to KL as early as 6AM as we made our way back to 15 Padang Lalang to send the kids to Mak Lang.
As short as it may sound, but it was a memorable holiday alright. I really enjoyed it as long as people around me do too.
Miss my parents :(
Here as some of the pictures taken during the break :
But Mak and Ayah decided they gave us surprise by making an impromptu journey up north to see their grandkids!
I was very happy to know their plan and excited at the same time as to show them off our newly-purchased house.
Twas having lunch at 2PM on Saturday, Faidrol and I planned to started our stop halfway through in the morning of painting the walls. The plan was to start at 3.30 - 4PM but, Mak Ayah was already on their way to Hard Rock Hotel.
Upon hearing this, I excitedly told them that I am willing to chip in for a one night stay in the hotel and for that, we were invited to stay in together. Yeay....
And so the plan all went down the drain (the paintings uh uh).
So we made our journey to Hard Rock Hotel, stopping by Line Clear for Ayah's order on Nasi Kandar. We started our journey around 3.30PM and reached Feringghi around 5PM.
Cars started to piling up the road towards Feringghi thus the 2-hour journey.
Once we reached Hotel, we didn't waste any time but to go for the swimming pool. Not for us, but for the kids yes! Aok bah... mak pak pun maok juak bah hahaah.
Faryyal insisted to stay at the pool side, playing only with the shallow water meant to be the "pool drain". But Fayyadh wasted no chance, jumped right into the pool with Faidrol! What a boy!
But everntually Faryyal wanted to join them and I have to carry her into the pool slowly and steady as not to terrify her.
We were in the pool until almost Isya'!
The swirling slides are superb unless you got stuck midway or almost reaching to the pool. Either way, it was fun to do with the kids (the kids are the reason we can surely enjoy the slides or, you have to just only watch from the poolside!). Faryyal and Fayyadh cannot stop to slide and I even think and told Faidrol to just let them be alone on the slides til I catch them in the pool but to think twice, it was a dangerous thing to do to a 2 year old and 1 year old.
There was a lion dance in front of the Hard Rock Cafe, Faryyal enjoyed it so much she did not move from her spot watching it. We went to the Rock Shop but nothing aspired me to buy anything (as I already have a lanyard, Roxy one) or the umbrella that I wanted to buy but sarcastically approved by dear husband that aborted me to purchase.
It was a night to remember as both kids enjoyed their time there, Faryyal never want to be steered away from Neneks and everytime we were apart, she was always looking/searching for her Neneks.
The next day we went to as usual, Padang Kota Lama to enjoy the delicacy : Pasemboq and headed straight to our new house.
Haha, sad to say nothing is in the house but my parents insisted to stay there that night. I gladly setup their "shack" with hot coffee, iced tea, some pistachios, cucur by Mak Lang, beds and pillows, with a fan and a mosquito coil. Being ayah as always, he will mop the floors and sweep them, giving me advices on what's yes to go or what's disastrous to do.
Since the next day I already started working, they made their way back to KL as early as 6AM as we made our way back to 15 Padang Lalang to send the kids to Mak Lang.
As short as it may sound, but it was a memorable holiday alright. I really enjoyed it as long as people around me do too.
Miss my parents :(
Here as some of the pictures taken during the break :
 |
| My sandals, Fayyadh eyeing the beach girls, Fayyadh with the beach girls and Faryyal playing sand. |
 |
| Faryyal pouty lips, Fayyadh having jolly good time, Faryyal posing as herself and Faryyal looking at herself in the camera. |
 |
| Fayyadh freezing cold, Fayyadh eyeing the beach girls again, Faryyal still insisting to stay dry and Fayyadh trying to say hi to the girls. |
 |
| Fayyadh pouty lips, Beatles, 3Fs with The Beatles. |
 |
| US. |
Friday, February 8, 2013
Doing Bribe at Work
As per that article by SPRM, I am now full-fledging my time doing bribery work i.e. downloading, facebooking, blogging, hop-blogging, wiki-ing and whatnots.
Clicking the "Send/Receive" in Outlook also applies, every 5 minutes or so.
No mail received.
Surely no mail sent.
Harrassed dear husband to chat with me, either from phone or through emails.
Bored as hell.
Bribe pun bribe lah.
Whatever.
Clicking the "Send/Receive" in Outlook also applies, every 5 minutes or so.
No mail received.
Surely no mail sent.
Harrassed dear husband to chat with me, either from phone or through emails.
Bored as hell.
Bribe pun bribe lah.
Whatever.
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.
Nevermnind I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best of you,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
With or Without You.
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you.
Through the storm, we reach the shore
You gave it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you.
I can't live with or without you.
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.
My hands are tied, my body bruised
She´s got me with nothing to win
And nothing left to lose.
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you.
we' ll shine like stars in the summer night
we' ll shine like stars in the winter babe
one heart, one hope, one love
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
Here I am, typing again.
Of all the blogs I had in the past, I knew I cannot be committing to something other than my kids and family.
But as for this year, there are no plans so far for a third child, both Faidrol and I are now living together after 3 years waiting for the faith to come, I hope to manage some time to blog.
And to play guitar.
And to read as much books as possible.
To learn to cook. (Oh gosh this scares me)
And to make myself younger by, mmm... 5 years younger?
And I think these are my new year resolution then?
I don't have any formal NY resolution before, but then, some things have changed and so do my style.
Above are the resolutions I had in mind days before we hit new year.
Spontaneously came into my mind, things I have thought long before this post.
To play guitar - back in 2003.
To read as much books as possible - circa 2002.
Learn to cook - as new as your car.
Make myself younger - instantly hit me when I frequently peed in my panties!
I am already on my way to make these come true, as I have prepared the ingredients and ready to roll:
To play guitar - Bought a Yamaha guitar after Facetime with abang (all the way from Down Under) that he consulted me to buy the brand.
To read as much books as possible - Already bought three books from MPHOnline.com (one is a biography, one is motivational and another is fictional - my favorite always). I can recall two books I recently finished (both are based on true stories). That adds up right?
Learn to cook - Been googling kitchen cabinets so far. Apa kaitan dengan masak kah?
Make myself younger - Bought Murad cleanser set in Bangsar.
So, so, so many things happened gone undocumented. Neither by pictures nor by posts (blogs, diary etc).
And I hope to blog if not all, most of the things happened to me in the past, occuring now in present and will happen in the future (if Allah wills it for sure).
Till then,
I'll draft posts first before I publish. This is consider intro, as I might say.
But as for this year, there are no plans so far for a third child, both Faidrol and I are now living together after 3 years waiting for the faith to come, I hope to manage some time to blog.
And to play guitar.
And to read as much books as possible.
To learn to cook. (Oh gosh this scares me)
And to make myself younger by, mmm... 5 years younger?
And I think these are my new year resolution then?
I don't have any formal NY resolution before, but then, some things have changed and so do my style.
Above are the resolutions I had in mind days before we hit new year.
Spontaneously came into my mind, things I have thought long before this post.
To play guitar - back in 2003.
To read as much books as possible - circa 2002.
Learn to cook - as new as your car.
Make myself younger - instantly hit me when I frequently peed in my panties!
I am already on my way to make these come true, as I have prepared the ingredients and ready to roll:
To play guitar - Bought a Yamaha guitar after Facetime with abang (all the way from Down Under) that he consulted me to buy the brand.
To read as much books as possible - Already bought three books from MPHOnline.com (one is a biography, one is motivational and another is fictional - my favorite always). I can recall two books I recently finished (both are based on true stories). That adds up right?
Learn to cook - Been googling kitchen cabinets so far. Apa kaitan dengan masak kah?
Make myself younger - Bought Murad cleanser set in Bangsar.
So, so, so many things happened gone undocumented. Neither by pictures nor by posts (blogs, diary etc).
And I hope to blog if not all, most of the things happened to me in the past, occuring now in present and will happen in the future (if Allah wills it for sure).
Till then,
I'll draft posts first before I publish. This is consider intro, as I might say.
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